Uisge Beatha
“Uisge beatha” is the original Scots Gaelic term for whisky, meaning “water of life,” derived from the Latin aqua vitae. Only used when the speaker wants to sound pretentious.
Stories and rants from the world of whisky
Understanding Maltose, the Sugar That Makes Whisky Possible
Published 19/11/2025
Maltose is a sugar made from two glucose units that forms when enzymes break down the starch in malted barley during mashing. It is the main fermentable sugar in wort and the key fuel for yeast. Yeast consumes maltose and turns it into alcohol and carbon dioxide. If there is not enough maltose the wash will not ferment properly and whisky cannot be made. Human beings have always been peculiarly vulnerable to sugar, especially after it decides to undergo that astonishing biochemical career change and become alcohol.
Understanding Maltose, the Sugar That Makes Whisky Possible
The Unsung Hero of Heavy Whisky: Or, How the Worm Turned
Published 12/11/2025
Worm tubs are the whisky industry’s stubborn survivors: huge, awkward, and gloriously inefficient copper coils that condense vapour into spirit by brute chill rather than refined design. Once common, they’ve all but vanished in favour of modern condensers, yet a devoted few distillers keep them alive, convinced that only a worm tub can give whisky its signature heft, sulphur edge, and old-world soul. Picture it: a massive vat of freezing water, the sort of thing you’d only step into if you’d lost a bet, with a copper coil inside pretending to be a snake that’s recently eaten a distillery apprentice.
The Unsung Hero of Heavy Whisky: Or, How the Worm Turned
The Great Scotch Whisky Swindle
Published 09/11/2025
The Scotch whisky industry is under threat from fraudulent cask investment schemes that sell overpriced teaspooned, or even non-existent barrels to unwary buyers. Poor documentation, misleading advertising, and weak regulation have left thousands at risk. Tighter oversight and transparency is needed, to stop an unsuspecting public from being conned. Scotch whisky is an industry built on patience. The sort of patience that makes monks look impulsive, glaciers look hurried, and people waiting for their printer to cooperate look positively zen.
The Great Scotch Whisky Swindle
The Keepers of the Quaich: Basically a ‘Whisky Knighthood’
Published 05/11/2025
The Keepers of the Quaich is an invitation-only society founded in 1988 to recognize people who have made significant contributions to Scotch whisky. With about 2,800 members from over 100 countries, it holds formal induction banquets twice a year at Blair Castle in Scotland. Members must have at least seven years in the whisky world, and select veterans are later elevated to the title of Master of the Quaich. The group’s symbol is the traditional two-handled whisky cup, and its motto translates to “Water of Life Forever.
The Keepers of the Quaich: Basically a ‘Whisky Knighthood’
What Is a Dunnage Warehouse?
Published 01/02/2024
A dunnage warehouse is the old-school, traditional type of whisky warehouse. The kind that appears on every distillery tour as if it were a living museum exhibit entitled “How Whisky Used to Be Stored Back Before Anyone Invented Practicality.” You may even have sipped a glass in one, feeling very authentic and slightly chilly. They are charming, atmospheric, and largely abandoned in favour of something less poetic and more sensible, because they are about as efficient as a Glasgow pub lock-in on a Monday morning.
What Is a Dunnage Warehouse?